Day 49 - Speed Kills

I do not know if this is advertised in all countries or only here, but we have the “Arrive Alive” advertisements on the radio, tv and on Billboards which is basically to tell people things like “speed kills” and “don’t drink and drive”. The adverts are built around these points. I am looking at the point of speed kills and how it can be used on more points than just driving.

If you look at how you interact with people, I am sure you have memories of arguments about inconsequential points that could have been avoided by simply slowing down and taking a moment to listen to each other and discuss a point without being aggressive and trying to make the other see it your way. The principle that I am looking at is taking everything one point at a time. In terms of a conversation, you hear and consider what the other person is saying and if you are unclear you ask them to repeat. In terms of your process you stop yourself from being overwhelmed by points and using the feeling of “it is too much” to give yourself an excuse to fall, by looking at one point at a time and working with that point until it is clear. I understand that while you are working on that one point that there will be others that come up. When this occurs I suggest you write it down on the side and once you have completed the point you are working on you can get to the ones that came up while you were writing.

Looking at the speed kills point and how all of this ties together you can see how when you are trying to accomplish something whether it is you trying to bring your point across in an argument or you are trying to work on yourself and your process. The point that is starting to become apparent is that we tend to rush to get what we want and have no patience when it comes to considering what it will actually take to get it. This is what I see if I place the point of speed kills into my daily life. I see how that point can impact more than driving, it can also be a tool to assist in working with rushing through life, because when we rush we tend to think that our actions affect only ourselves which is the same as when we drive in a dangerous way and think that is only us as the driver who is accepting the risk of an accident without realizing that when we have or cause an accident that there are others involved and that they get hurt and that it would be our responsibility.

The next time you see yourself wanting to rush to get what you want, consider that there are consequences for our actions and that those consequences affect the ones around you too.

Day 40 - The Weight of my Day

Recently we have been quite busy on the farm with Bernard passing so suddenly and we had contractors that just finished the new parrot aviary and porch and the fact that Leila’s kid is going to come soon , we have had to deal with all of these things happening and also carry on preparing all the points for the baby. I feel like it is a weight that isn’t getting much lighter. The workload seems to get bigger and bigger, it looks like we might not get to do everything as soon as we had planned. I don’t like having to shove things together and try to do or manage 10 things at once; I prefer having to focus on one point at a time. 

I realize that this is actually quite a cool test to see how I and we do under excessive amounts of pressure, and I for one have been pushing hard to get as much done in the short amount of time we have available to us to the point of my body getting the flu just to make me realize that I have to slow down. From the day after Bernard died I was off of the farm 5 out of 7 days, either sorting things out or doing shopping for the contractor or food shopping and the one day I actually had to go into town, come back and go back into town again! 

The one night I just started feeling sickish and the next day woke up sick – I was only sick for about 3 days really – and when I felt how badly my body felt I realized that I had pushed myself too hard and not considered that I had gone through a massive shock – physically and otherwise. I accepted in that moment that I would push myself as much as I could but, that it is impractical to be uselessly sick for days because of pushing too hard. Unfortunately this means that I am not superman:). I can only do so much before my body gives out and requires rest. My point with sharing this is that keeping myself busy so as not too focus too much on the point of Bernard is useful to be able to focus on what needs to be done day by day but, that this can only work if I allow myself some time to adjust and align myself with what must be done next. I mainly focused on keeping myself stable and assisting other people as much as possible or working on the farm so as to focus on avoiding to look at what Bernard’s death meant for me and how I needed to move forward after he had died. 

I have seen today that I still have the tendency of trying to rush through points without considering all of the factors involved and that I am trying to make myself move faster though the workload without considering that it is more practical to look at points in their entirety instead of skipping through the basics as if I know better. 

I realize that all of these points culminate in the point of me not focusing on my breathing but rather allowing myself to be consumed by the desire to prove myself as worthy by pushing myself beyond common sense practicality and into simple, distracting ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use ego as a distraction and as a way to not focus on breath

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into ego or trying to distract myself with workloads and time limits – I stop, breathe and look at the problem facing me with practical common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be overwhelm by the amount of work there is to be done and therefore utilising this as an excuse to get out of the work thinking it will just go away

I commit myself to when and as I go into fear and anxiety about how high my workload is – I stop, breathe and focus on one point at a time to ensure that I am considering all outcomes instead of getting bitten in the ass in the future because I forgot to check the quality of the work and not rely on the quantity to tip the scales.

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