Annoyance with ineffective shop operations
Today I went shopping and on two occasions I got annoyed
because of how the shops were being ineffectively run in terms of the cashiers.
The first time was in a shop called clicks were they have
the cashier stations for about 8 cashiers to work at the same time but they
only had one cashier operator working and when I got into the line there was a
person in front of me and behind me and one being helped by the cashier, which
was already quite annoying because they should have at least 2 there at all
times otherwise they have a big congestion in their lines, which takes a long
time and I don’t like it when I have to wait for no reason. The woman in front
of me also happened to be an old lady so, as soon as she walked up to the
cashier she started asking these ridiculous questions that she could’ve
answered easily by just reading the labels of the product she was looking for.
The woman was also very slow in paying for her stuff, when all she had was like
two items, but she was slow in taking out her wallet and her card – which was
starting to piss me off because I didn’t have time to wait in that shop. As
soon as she was done I walked up to the cashier and gave stuff and paid as
quick as possible because I had other places to go, but I left the shop annoyed
so as I was leaving I was breathing and felt relief as soon as I had left the
shop.
The next time it happened it was at a shop called victoria
packaging which stocks allot of cheap, effective storage and packaging items.
At this shop they only have 2 cashiers stations but they only had one cashier
working and their shop is very small and stacked to the point where it is
extremely difficult to move around. I was already a little annoyed when I went
in because it was hot and this shop doesn’t have any air conditioning and is
very packed as I said so it is very cramped with people moving all over the
place. I find all the stuff I am looking for and get into the line for the
cashier with 2 guys in front of me and 2 guys behind me all waiting to pay –
which to me is ridiculous as they should really have more cashiers working
since it was so busy.
The cashier asks the guy that is busy paying what size plant
bags he has and he tells her that what he wanted was 15l bags and that the guy
that works that section told him that those were the right size, the cashier
looks at them and sees that they are the 20l bags, so she shouts from her desk
to the guy that helped the customer and asks him to bring the right size for
him so we all had to wait while the shop guy found the right size for the
customer before he could pay. As soon as that guy was gone it went allot
quicker to pay. By the time I had left the shop, the other cashier goes to her
station, but the line had almost disappeared so it seemed like too little too
late. We were waiting for some of the other guys to finish in the shop, but
they were taking long so I went to check on them and saw them at the cashier
station. I went and asked if they were having trouble with something and they
said that they were accidentally overcharged so the cashier was busy sorting
out the problem.
They told her that it was fine since it wasn’t much money. I
also went in to get water to drink and the people asked if the extra could be
allocated to paying for the drinks and the cashier said sure and told us what
to take to even out the balance, so I got water. I was a little pissed at that
situation as the cashier actually fucked up by overcharging but I felt better
when it got resolved quickly because of the water evening out the balance. I
was very happy to be out of that shop as it is an extremely cramped and hot
space.
When reading over my writing I realize that I am continuously
blaming the people in the shops for wasting my time and I realize that this in
turn reflects unto me, in terms of I am still blaming myself for all the time I
wasted when I was younger. Years ago all I did was play computer games, watch
tv and sleep. All I was doing was nothing. I would sleep all day then stay
awake as long as I could while timing myself, to see if this time was longer
than last time. I ignored doing my home-schooling and working on my process and
just sat around all day watching shit to pass the time. I was extremely lazy.
Within this I see that I am still angry with myself for being lazy and I see
that I am now taking out that anger on people that I deem as wasting my time,
since all I used to do was waste my time. Even still today sometimes I feel
like I am wasting my time because I would do all the things I needed to do but,
when I was done with those things I wouldn’t go looking for something else to
do I would just do almost nothing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become
annoyed when I perceive shops to be ineffectively operated
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
believe that if I had the chance that I could run the shop better
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
impatient when there is someone ahead of me in a line that is taking longer
than I want them to
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
breathe and remain stable, here and patient when there is someone taking longer
than me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think
that the people and cashiers are just trying to waste my time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
believe that my time is worth more than anyone else’s
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
realize that I have to be patient in such a situation instead of going into the
mindset of annoyance and anger
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
believe that me getting annoyed and angry is actually going to make the people
work faster
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
believe that I have any form of control over what others do
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see
and judge old or handicapped people as useless and inefficient and therefore
expendable
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see
myself as better than the cashiers or shop managers just because I believe that
I could do their jobs much better than they can
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge
something that I have no practical experience in as easy
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become
uncomfortable and annoyed when I get hot and am standing in a cramped area
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge
a cramped room/building as lazy and disorganized
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame
others for wasting my time when I was actually blaming myself for wasting time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use
blaming other people as a way to hide from facing this point
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
lazy and not look for things to do
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
justify being lazy to make myself feel better
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide
behind justifications and excuses
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
realize that blaming myself and others will not allow me to work with the point
of being lazy or wasting time
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
realize that wasting time and being lazy is an offence to life and creation
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
realize that I need to push myself to do more for life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist
pushing myself to do more for life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
angry at myself for wasting time
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
let go of the anger and the guilt and the blame
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
believe that me taking out my anger on other people will help me work through
my anger
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
suppress my anger to the point where when it comes out it comes out in the form
of aggression towards other beings
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold
onto points long past instead of letting them go and moving forward
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
forgive myself for what I have done and let go of the point and the anger and
move forward instead of allowing myself to become trapped in a loop of past
events
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to
realize that holding a grudge like that against myself will not only hurt me
but might come to the point of hurting those around me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
postpone writing this post out of fear of discussing this point
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
afraid of revealing points to those around me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be
afraid of facing this point as it has defined almost half of my life
I realize that me blaming others is a way to hide the fact
that I am angry with myself
When and as I see myself getting angry with someone I stop,
I breathe, I realize that I am projecting my anger towards myself onto those
around me, I stop projecting my anger and when I have a moment I investigate
how what I see in the other is a reflection of what exists in me
I commit myself to stop projecting my anger onto others
I commit myself to investigating where and why the anger
came up and how what I saw triggered the reaction of anger within myself and
how what I saw in that being is a reflection of myself
I realize that allowing myself to be scared of revealing
points and facing the point of wasting time is ridiculous as I am using the
fear as a way to hide from change
When and as I see myself going into fear in terms of facing
the point of laziness and fear of change I stop, I breathe, I stop the ranting in
my mind and I realize that I can never lose myself no matter what changes
I realize that me fearing change is just my minds way of
holding me back and keeping me stuck in the same time-loops
When and as I see myself going into anxiety in terms of
changing myself I realize that it is just my mind holding me back and I realize
that even if all the worst case scenarios that are flashing through my head
where to come true, I could never lose myself no matter how bad it got
I commit myself to not allow my mind to hold me back using
fear
I realize that allowing myself to be controlled by my mind
is just a way to hide from myself behind a big shield
I realize that allowing myself to hide from myself behind a
big shield is completely ridiculous and will only cause suffering for me and
those around me
When and as I see myself “taking out the big shield” I stop,
I breathe and I let go and allow myself to participate as an equal in sharing
and expressing myself openly
I commit myself to allowing myself to participate as an
equal in sharing and expressing myself openly
