Day 51 - My Scrawny Legs - Do I Look Masculine Enough?

This is a continuation of my previous blog, Day 50 My Scrawny Legs

When and as I see myself wanting to judge my legs and therefore myself, I stop the judgement, breathe - I see, realize and understand that I am judging myself as not masculine enough within the belief that I do not look scary enough to be seen as a strong man who is able to protect the ones around him and I realise that by judging myself I am only feeding energy into my insecurity which, if I allow myself to follow down this path, will leads to outbursts of anger towards myself and those around me and so I commit myself to stopping myself from allowing myself to judge my legs as not masculine enough and I instead accept my legs as they are and I allow myself to be grateful for the unconditional daily support that they give me.

When and as I see myself reacting to someone else either judging my legs or I perceive them to be judging my legs I stop, breathe and I see, realize and understand that I am judging myself based on a desire to be perfect in other people’s eyes and that I am judging myself based on the idea that other people need to be afraid of me when they see me as I see people fearing me as a sign of respect and I realise that I desire people to see me as scary so as to hide my insecurity and feed energy into my ego and if I allow myself to follow down this path I will be stuck in a loop of judgment and fear until I stop myself form participating in the energy and so I commit myself to stopping myself from reacting to someone judging my legs and I instead accept my legs as they are and I am grateful for the unconditional daily support they give me

When and as I see myself going into fear of someone judging my legs I stop, breathe and I see, realise and understand that I am projecting myself into the future and creating the expectation of someone judging my legs and I am creating the energy of fear and using it to feed my insecurities and I realise that I am creating a fear of something that may or may not happen and reacting to the possibility of being judged and so I commit myself to stopping myself from projecting myself into the future and creating the expectation of and fear of someone judging me and I instead accept my legs as they are and I am grateful for the unconditional daily support they give me and I keep myself stable in the present without projecting into the future out of fear of judgment

When and as I see myself going into fear of being vulnerable I stop, breathe and I see, realise and understand that I am reacting to the idea that vulnerability is not a trait of a masculine man and I realise that I am projecting myself into the future and creating the fear and expectation of being judged as not masculine enough and I realise that through creating this fear and expectation I am creating energy and feeding my insecurities and so I commit myself to be vulnerable and share myself with others as I realize and understand that it is within opening up and walking with others that I can walk my process most effectively

When and as I see myself going into a desire for the approval and envy of others I stop, breathe and I see, realise and understand that I am seeking confirmation of an idea of perfection that I have created to hide my insecurities and that I am seeking outside energy to boost my ego and make myself feel good so as to hide my fear of what others see me as and I realise that through creating and feeding this idea of strength and perfection I am feeding energy into my insecurities and that I am building a wall around myself to stop myself from being vulnerable and to stop others seeing how scared I really am and so I commit myself to stopping myself from building walls around myself and to stop myself from projecting/presenting a certain idea of myself - to instead allow others to see me as I am