Day 45 - Know Thyself, Correct Thyself

6. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

I have come to realise that being consumed by emotion can be nothing but destructive in any given situation. I see that the emotion makes me spit out my backchat and points that I have observed to “attack” the other people in the situation and this is obviously hurtful to the other being and can possibly lead to the end of any relationship.

I practically apply this principle by observing myself in every moment and when I go into reaction I investigate the trigger of this reaction and clear it so that if and when similar situations arise I stop the reaction from coming up so as to see the situation clearly and direct from a stable standing instead of an emotional one.

In situations where I go into reaction I base my reaction off of my perception of certain points including the other person’s body language, their tonality, their words (or what I choose to hear) and my previous experiences.

For example:

When a person asks me for a tool and I tell them where to find it, then realise that I should ask them what they need it for. I ask them why they need it and the answer they give reveals to me that it is something that will damage the tool as it is not designed for it, so I explain to them that it will be damaged and that they should use something else and their reply is that they won’t – even though they do not need to use a tool like that and there are other tools that they could use makes me angry as they assume that they know better than me instead of hearing me on what I am trying to show them. I used to go straight into explosive anger but have now been able to stop myself from becoming angry and as such, I am able to show them that the tool is not right for the job without attacking them for wanting to be superior to me.

I have come to realise that I go into 3 “stages” of anger:

Stage 1: The anger sparks in me and I start trying to suppress it instead of directing myself to stop.

Stage 2: The anger starts to show by me starting to argue with the other person instead of explain the point clearly and hearing what the other person has to say.

Stage 3: I snap and go into what I call the “kicking and screaming” anger and start shouting to prove myself right.

I have been able to – using the practical application of this principle – successfully stop myself from allowing the anger to take hold and push me into stage 2 and 3 more and more as these types of situations come up.

I have realised that I have allowed myself to be consumed by anger more frequently than not and I have realised that it is simply a matter of stopping myself from allowing the anger to take over and directing the point from a stable point whilst considering the other persons position and not following my perception of who is “right or wrong”.

Day 41 - The Children of our Future

My agreement partner and I have been looking at having a child soon and I have come to realise a few points in terms of taking on the responsibility of a child. From my perspective the responsibility of a child is in principle the same as the responsibility of taking care of animals. What I mean is that the core principles remain and what I see as the core principles is that we have to be willing to dedicate our time to train the child how to live in a world full of abuse but, never let go of his principles and that we have to be able to accept the financial responsibility that comes with their upbringing.

I see a lot of people go into fear about having children. For me the fear is that I will pass on “bad” physical genes and that the points that the child has to overcome from my DNA will be more than necessary. I realise that the child will have points both physical and personal that are passed on through our DNA that the child must work through no matter how much I want them to be ‘invulnerable’.

The main point - from my perspective – that is different to the responsibility of raising an animal or raising a child, is that the animal does not have my DNA within themselves and that the child does. Within this, the perception is easily created that it is like fixing someone else’s fuckup instead of my own. From my mind’s perspective, it enables me to place the responsibility for a lot of the animal’s base character designs within something other than myself, whereas with a child the responsibility for his base character design comes undeniably from me and my partner.

I am not saying that the act of raising a child and an animal is the same; I am only trying to say the principles of how to raise them are. I will teach them how to live within common sense and show them how to consider what is best for all in every decision they make. I show my animals this point as much as possible, but there is a communication ‘barrier’ that makes it more difficult. I am confident in the fact that I will be able to bring the message of “do unto another as you would like to be done unto” either as clearly or more clearly to my children.

I ask my animals to treat me with the same respect I show to them and that is all I would ask of my child, taking into account the unfortunate difficulties of this world that the child would have to be shown – how to work with and how to survive in a world of greed. I will have to teach them about the world even though I did not enjoy it when I was young. I will ensure that the child is able to stand no matter how hard the shit hits the fan – which would mean that it will not be easy but it will be necessary for them to learn about the how and the why the world works the way it does now.

I would’ve preferred to bring my child into a world that I can be proud of and that the child would be safe but, children that are taught that they must stand together to change the world are necessary to assist in the change that will come. (Note: I am not saying that everyone should have kids now, I am rather placing my current process into understanding and due to the fact that I have had an upbringing mainly based on support within the principle of what is best for all – as my father was standing this example throughout my life – I am clear on the fact that at this stage in my process and my life, I can support a child effectively. The decision to have a child will be made by each one according to their own process and of course the ability to support a child financially.)

I ask now for the forgiveness of my child or children for the amount of responsibility I am laying on their shoulders.

I ask that they realise that there is no other way to ensure that the world will change sooner rather than them having to pass it on to their children.

I realise that my children will have the best life that I can provide for them, but they will not be able to live free until all can stand together, equal as one, for what is best for all.

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