Day 53 - One Step at a Time

I made my first recording today, enjoy :)

Day 47 - I Choose to Live

It is fascinating what a difference it makes when you decide to do something. If you decide that you do not want to do something then you have to first clear that decision before you are able to actually start doing it. It also has an effect when it is something that you do not want to do, if you have to do something that you really do not want to do you cause that project to be one that you can only do when you force yourself to do it and if you force yourself to do something you will be angry while doing it and you will take out your anger on the people around you.

I have also seen how you can tire yourself out and make things worse than they actually are just by deciding that you are unwilling to do it, then you will be dreading the task and thinking about how difficult it is going to be and by doing these things you will actually make it more difficult and make yourself angry and irritated.

This is a quote from Osho:

'To be ordinary is the only extraordinary thing. Very rarely somebody relaxes and becomes ordinary. If you ask Zen masters, 'What do you do?' they will say, 'We fetch wood from the forest, we carry water from the well. We eat when we feel hungry, we drink when we feel thirsty, we go to sleep when we feel tired. This is all.'

It does not look very appealing -- fetching wood, carrying water, sitting, eating. You will say, 'These are ordinary things. Everybody is doing them.'

These are not ordinary things, and nobody is doing them. When you are fetching wood, you are condemning it -- you would like to be the president of some country. You don't want to be a woodcutter. You keep condemning the present for some imaginary future.

Carrying water from the well, you feel you are wasting your life. You are angry. You were not made for such ordinary things. You had come with a great destiny -- to lead the whole world towards a paradise, some utopia.

These are all ego-trips. These are all in states of consciousness.

Just to be ordinary... and then suddenly what you call trivia is no more trivia, what you call profane is no more profane. Everything becomes sacred. Carrying wood becomes sacred. Fetching water from the well becomes sacred.'

It is fascinating that this is what we do within ourselves whenever there we are doing something, it is never the simplicity and acceptance of “doing the ordinary and menial task”, it has become the total ego trip of ourselves to condemn and think we are better than these things. I need to go fix a fence and all the while I am thinking that I could be doing some grand and important thing trying to make myself feel better about doing this simple, practical common sense task and within trying to make myself fell important I actually make myself angry at the fact that I am not important or special.
None of us are special or important, this is the point we all have to realise.

We are all the same, we all have to eat, sleep, drink and defecate. This one simple point of accepting the fact that we are the same and all have the same problems would make the world a better place for all of us to live in. For if you saw your neighbour as the same as you and treated them as you would want to be treated wouldn’t the world be calmer, safer and give us all a chance to really work to change ourselves and our world into a world and life that we would all enjoy?

I am willing and able to do this and I have chosen to do this, I want my future children to grow up without worrying about being killed when they are sleeping and to be able to enjoy themselves without having to block out the suffering of the people around us as we all had to.

Day 37 - The Big Problem of "Little Things"

I was in town the other day buying equipment for the farm and picking up food for the animals and what happened was that I got distracted in terms of what I needed to do and I had not written everything down so, I forgot to collect some of the food that was bought earlier in the day. I had to go back the next day to collect it as some of the shops don’t like it when the stuff isn’t picked up soon after it is bought. It meant that I had to waste time and spend half of another day in town when I could’ve been working on the farm, especially since there isn’t many people capable of doing the physical work that I do.(There isn’t many guys - lol)

The point that I realised from this – and other instances – is that if you are not stable and focused, you easily get distracted from what you need to do. I also was in a rush as I don’t enjoy being in town and I had been there almost the whole day already.

I also realized that I need to be more diligent in writing points that need to be done as work is easily forgotten and you cannot rely on memory to keep track of all the work. There is many little things that get forgotten as they are not very important and other big problems that need fixing get in the way so, the little things start to pile up higher and higher until they are also big problems.

The point that I see is that whenever I can pay attention to the little things instead of leaving it for the next day – which often turns into the next month – I will place whatever spare time that I have available to taking on the small points so as to Prevent them from turning into Big problems.

The same thing can be said in terms of my personal process – meaning that when I see I am allowing a “small” point to influence me, I stop and correct it before it compiles into a possession/obsession or causes me to create conflict as an outflow onto the beings around me.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Related articles

• Day 396: Paranoia: the Home of Human Reason - Part Two
• Day 209: Correcting instead of Sidestepping
• Day 33 - Forgive me Father for I have Sinned!
• Day 230: The Principle of Need and the Principle of Equality are One
• Day 357 - Writing about who I am within Writing Part 2
• Day 395: Paranoia: the Home of Human Reason - Part One
• Day 210: Blinded by the Light/Shine of Money
• Day 411: GPS: the Global Paranoia System Reaches Turkey
• DAY 388: Anarchists, Mothers and Brainwashing (Part Two)
• Day 382: Brainwashing - The Secret History (Part Two)

Day 13 - Group Gaming

A few years ago me and some of my friends used to get together on weekends to play some networked games. In the beginning of our gaming “phase” we would start gaming on Saturday mornings all day and sometimes all through the night into Sunday mornings, and during these times we would take short bathroom breaks and food or coffee breaks, but otherwise we would be playing whatever we would want to play. It was a lot of fun, to say the least.

After a while of doing this, most of the people in our little group started getting tired of doing it so often and so long so they would leave earlier or not be really willing to play, which made me feel disappointed and also feel as if it was my fault as I would always try to push them to play longer or try to have as much fun as we used to have, in other words I tried my best to force enjoyment and socialization upon the people around me which I only realise now would probably have contributed to them being more reluctant to play as I would act like an annoying little child which would’ve frustrated them.

I was the youngest of the group so I was seen and treated like a child which I did not enjoy but I endured it because I saw the gaming point as the only way to connect and form relationships with the people in the group – as they were a lot older than me - so I tried to hold onto the point of group gaming for as long as I could and through doing that I inadvertently contributed to the eventual discontinuance of the regular gaming events and it turned into a fairly rare occasion. I would still play with one or two of them at a time but it wouldn’t have the same energy and feeling of a group playing a game and enjoying themselves together.

To Be Continued…