Day 51 - My Scrawny Legs - Do I Look Masculine Enough?

This is a continuation of my previous blog, Day 50 My Scrawny Legs

When and as I see myself wanting to judge my legs and therefore myself, I stop the judgement, breathe - I see, realize and understand that I am judging myself as not masculine enough within the belief that I do not look scary enough to be seen as a strong man who is able to protect the ones around him and I realise that by judging myself I am only feeding energy into my insecurity which, if I allow myself to follow down this path, will leads to outbursts of anger towards myself and those around me and so I commit myself to stopping myself from allowing myself to judge my legs as not masculine enough and I instead accept my legs as they are and I allow myself to be grateful for the unconditional daily support that they give me.

When and as I see myself reacting to someone else either judging my legs or I perceive them to be judging my legs I stop, breathe and I see, realize and understand that I am judging myself based on a desire to be perfect in other people’s eyes and that I am judging myself based on the idea that other people need to be afraid of me when they see me as I see people fearing me as a sign of respect and I realise that I desire people to see me as scary so as to hide my insecurity and feed energy into my ego and if I allow myself to follow down this path I will be stuck in a loop of judgment and fear until I stop myself form participating in the energy and so I commit myself to stopping myself from reacting to someone judging my legs and I instead accept my legs as they are and I am grateful for the unconditional daily support they give me

When and as I see myself going into fear of someone judging my legs I stop, breathe and I see, realise and understand that I am projecting myself into the future and creating the expectation of someone judging my legs and I am creating the energy of fear and using it to feed my insecurities and I realise that I am creating a fear of something that may or may not happen and reacting to the possibility of being judged and so I commit myself to stopping myself from projecting myself into the future and creating the expectation of and fear of someone judging me and I instead accept my legs as they are and I am grateful for the unconditional daily support they give me and I keep myself stable in the present without projecting into the future out of fear of judgment

When and as I see myself going into fear of being vulnerable I stop, breathe and I see, realise and understand that I am reacting to the idea that vulnerability is not a trait of a masculine man and I realise that I am projecting myself into the future and creating the fear and expectation of being judged as not masculine enough and I realise that through creating this fear and expectation I am creating energy and feeding my insecurities and so I commit myself to be vulnerable and share myself with others as I realize and understand that it is within opening up and walking with others that I can walk my process most effectively

When and as I see myself going into a desire for the approval and envy of others I stop, breathe and I see, realise and understand that I am seeking confirmation of an idea of perfection that I have created to hide my insecurities and that I am seeking outside energy to boost my ego and make myself feel good so as to hide my fear of what others see me as and I realise that through creating and feeding this idea of strength and perfection I am feeding energy into my insecurities and that I am building a wall around myself to stop myself from being vulnerable and to stop others seeing how scared I really am and so I commit myself to stopping myself from building walls around myself and to stop myself from projecting/presenting a certain idea of myself - to instead allow others to see me as I am

Day 50 - My Scrawny Legs

I do not like the fact that my legs are small and thin they look like ant legs at the bottom of a dog and make me feel ridiculous when someone realises how small they are. They also make me think that other people see me as weak since I have such tiny legs.

I enjoy my body and only recently realised that I judge it in many aspects and I am going to be waking through the points that I have seen in my blog to help me face the fear of what people think of my body and to push myself to allow myself to be vulnerable as that is something that I have realised that I struggle with.

I do not notice how small my legs are easily as I cannot see them in comparison to my body, but when I see photos of me in shorts or photos of me sitting on the floor I am always surprised and disappointed by how stupid my body looks with my big upper body and head, teensy little legs that are connected to my big feet. I look very top heavy!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as looking like a top heavy tree that is about to collapse
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for having small legs as it does not fit my self created idea of masculinity
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that masculinity is something that I need to pursue as I believe that, since I am a man I have to look masculine
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed that my legs look ridiculous to me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as a big strong man that is scary and tough looking
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not looking like a big strong man that is scary and tough looking
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise and understand that it does not matter what I look like as the judgments of others only affect me if I allow them to
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by the belief that other people judge me because of my legs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being perceived as weak because of what I see and judge as weak, scrawny legs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by what others think of my legs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by my belief of what others think about my legs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and see myself as scrawny and weak due to me having small legs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to look like a big strong man that strikes fear and envy into other men
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire other peoples envy and praise through looking like a scary man
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that I will get respect if I look like a big strong man
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use ideas of what I look like to build up energy to fuel my ego
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that by fuelling my ego I can avoid feeling insecure and ashamed of my body
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be ashamed of my body as it does not fit my idea of a masculine body
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that people will see how insecure I am and use it to abuse me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the fear of being abused to justify why I can build up energy so as to build up my ego
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being abused
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my judgment of my legs by comparing them to men I perceive to be big and strong and desirable
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need to be desirable to be able to enjoy life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to make my legs bigger and to make them look better to me and to fit my idea of a masculine body
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will always look top heavy
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I expose my insecurity in my body people will use it against me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being vulnerable only gives people the ability to hurt me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being hurt by others
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being vulnerable as it does not fit my idea of a masculine man
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being vulnerable with others as I fear that I will be ignored and discarded
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being ignored and discarded